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Writer's pictureDr. Robert Smith

Relationship Red Flags



These are a list of common problem warnings in relationships. If you and your spouse have several of these, it may be helpful to you to seek a professional to encourage growth in your relationship, such as a couples counselor.  

  • Past behavior in relationships (patterns)  

  • Character  

  • Family of origin (degree of dysfunction)  

  • Friends (how do they conduct themselves)  

  • Neediness (degree)  

  • Development of self outside of the relationship  

  • Nature of conflicts  

  • Our relationship (needs) skewed  

  • Sexual patterns (questionable, past/compatibility)  

  • Values (comparable?)  

  • Possessiveness (jealousy)  

  • Behavior toward the opposite sex (appropriate?)  

  • Number of things that you are uncomfortable about  

  • Capacity for trust  

  • Spirituality - if applicable  

  • Demands (or lack of)  

  • Involvement in dysfunctional relationships  

  • Alcohol/drug usage  

  • Relationship (children)  

  • Level of self-esteem  

  • Ability to take responsibility (in conflict)  

  • Concrete vs. abstract thinking (ability, other views)  

  • Emotional intelligence  

  • Tolerance of others (opinion, behavior)  

  • Degree of flexibility  

  • Impact on your stress level  

  • Amount of energy required (to deal with this person) 

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